In the 21st episode of the Show Up or Shut Up Podcast, Marie Kirby and I explore the dark side of being a prolific maker during this new time of social media. From the pressure to post on Instagram every day to the pressure to be positive no matter how you are really feeling, and so many more unfortunate pressures many of us have now placed on ourselves, this discussion is one that you will absolutely not want to miss. Marie Hauck Kirby can be found on Instagram @marie.creatif.

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sHoW NoTEs

Marie’s chosen profession is as a licensed psychotherapist (16 years in private practice) but she is also is a very accomplished mixed media artist.  Her background was not in art but in dance!  She became interested in art due to a friend that was an artist and carried a journal with her at all times.  In 2018, Marie got a terrible flu and while recovering she discovered Pinterest and became interested in hobonichi journals which are visual diary and are also called ‘bullet journals.’

Marie specifically lists 7 types of pressure she experiences from using Instagram:

1. To join communities

2. To buy people’s supplies and products

3. To post

4. To be enthusiastic

5. To be supportive and comment on people’s posts (especially if they commented on hers)

6. To have a lot of followers

7. To compete with other for likes and followers

Understanding the reasons why people endure the pressures is important:

1. The dopamine hits we receive from scrolling social media to see what’s new and what’s next. The excitement of ‘the new’ keeps you going.

2. At the heart there is a human desire to feel love and the need for connection. Use the instragram community as a way to connect and feel loved. Human instinct is to part of a tribe.

Productivity and Self-Worth

Marie goes on to describe that ‘productivity equals self-worth so if we aren’t productive then we feel bad about ourselves.’  Other items that fall into this category can be the pressure to create everyday OR the idea that people have to create every day to be happy.  ‘As people we don’t tolerate boredom or being still.’

Give In and Don’t Feel Guilty About It

1. Find something new, learn it, experience it, question why you are doing it and then moving on to something else. There can be a void when you move on but it can be exciting too. Stop feeling guilty about buying all the supplies then moving on to something else.’

2. Pressure from signing up for classes, memberships, etc. Not doing them or not finishing them. Easing the pressure by realizing that if you can take away one or two things from each class, you got the value from it. Not finishing then is not a big deal. For memberships - only doing the lessons that really appeal to you.

3. Watch a series on Netflix or Amazon. Wendy’s latest finds; ‘Vikings’ on Netflix and ‘The Last Kingdom’ on Amazon.

4. Marie grew a vegetable garden

Question:  Can an online relationship be considered a real relationship?  Do you need to live close to maintain the bond?  Is bonding in an online class the same as the bonds made in a face to face class?

Class reference:  Alissa Burke - Nature Journal Class

https://www.shopalisaburke.com/collections/online-classes/products/new-the-nature-journal

Quotes:

‘Don’t let your art become your rat race’  — Wendy

Literary reference — Brené Brown

https://brenebrown.com

Marie’s parting message:

Brené Brown - talks around creativity and how important it is, which counteracts the work ethic society which lends itself to allowing us to limit the art that we do.  We need an outlet, we need to play, we need creativity.

Please communicate your thoughts and feelings, about the episode and leave any feedback on Wendy’s instagram @willa.wanders.